Sad Eyes
by snakepit
Summary: [AxelRoxas. Will-be Lemons. Yaoi. AU.] Axel finds Roxas alone on the beach and decides to leave his twatted friends behind for a night they will never forget.
1. Beached

Axel x Roxas  
Kingdom Hearts ; Rated M ; Yaoi ; Lemons  
I don't own anything. This is my last Kingdom Hearts fic.

/

**Sad Eyes**

_Don't you wish you were dead like me?_

Nothing was right and everything was getting worse. Namine only had three days left before the cancer took over her body and neither of them had to say anything to know that those three days were going to be her last. It got worse than that because Roxas was the adopted one, the one who didn't fit into the cramped hospital room and Cloud was going to have his ass for not being there. He couldn't watch Namine die though, and having Aunt Larxene there to tell him how shitty of a person he is isn't something he could handle right now. All the money he and Sora had put into college was going to waste considering he was failing rapidly. Test after test was another 'F' and no one wanted to work on projects with the gay kid. The only one who had accepted him as he was, was Demyx; his old lover, but even he had enough of Roxas.

_I just – I'm moving out of state soon and… I don't think we can be together. _

_No, please Demy, don't do this – you said forever, you __**promised**__! You love me, don't you? We can work out the distance; we can make it through this. I don't know what I'll do without you, please! I love you!_

_But… Roxas – _

_Don't you __**dare**__ leave me! I won't let you, not like this! We said we'd move in together; next year remember? We're going to get married – you have a ring on your finger and we're going to adopt a beautiful baby and – _

_Roxas I don't… I __**don't**__ love you anymore! _

_W-what…?_

_I haven't… I tried to love you again; I tried for months but… I just can't do this, I'm sorry!_

Roxas sighed, tumbling the silver ring through his knuckles before letting it slide into his palm. '_Forever & Always'_ was engraved deeply into the ring and filled with gold. Despite the worth, it was useless to him now, and with that thought, he clenched his fingers over it before pulling back. With one swift jerk of his arm and a growl oozing through his clenched teeth, he tossed the memory out, watching it turn into a small black dot against the sunset until it disappeared with a faint '_plop_'.

With his breathing unsteady now, he fell right onto his ass and hugged his knees, finally breaking out into tremoring sobs. He was alone, on this beach and in his life; and the worst part was he couldn't talk to Namine about it. The worst part was now it could only get worse.

He had considered suicide many times before, almost going through with it. Filling up the tub but never getting into it, tying the rope but never entering, piling out the pills but never taking them. That was the worst, worst part – he was too cowardly to even take his pathetic life. Because of that, it would only get worse.

By the time he had finally stopped crying and looked up from his knees, the sun had gone down and replaced with a dark navy blue, topped with the white glare from the full moon overhead. Lying on his back, he didn't even wipe his face clean of the wetness. Instead he let the cool breeze dry the tears while he observed the dotted stars overhead.

The sound of a rushing ocean was interrupted by nearby giggling and a car honking abruptly. His body jerked at the sudden loudness before he turned around to face the bright headlights. A few teenagers were stumbling out of the car, onto the sand. Luckily, none of them were near him and probably couldn't see him.

Still, he sank deeper into the sand, his black hoodie covered in sand now and his grey sweatpants and white sneakers were soaked with how close he was sitting to the licking ocean waves. His hair probably looked like a rat's nest now considering how windy and moist it was. He didn't care. He closed his eyes, the blackness behind his eyelids darkening as he tumbled all his thoughts around. Weighing his options he discovered that death wouldn't be so bad… would it?

"Hey, kid – you beached?"

He opened his eyes slowly to meet bright lime irises and a ghastly pale face surrounded by what looked like fire. The figure was definably penetrating his comfort zone – especially if this guy was drunk. He didn't need this now.

"No, I'm fine." He quietly admitted without moving or blinking. "Please go away."

"Ouch." The stranger hadn't moved either, only stuffed his hands into his own hoodie pockets. "I was only making sure you weren't dead, no need to be pushy."

"I'm not…" Roxas sighed to himself, finally setting up and turning around to get a better look at this guy. He was tall, that was for sure, and what looked like black skinny jeans hugged and defined his thin figure; the baggy hoodie threw it off in a strange but attractive way. His obvious red hair laid against his shoulders in spiked locks. He looked like a punk, right down to the combat boots.

"I just don't need a couple of drunks messing with me." He admitted, standing up to his feet now. His height was put to shame compared to the redhead. He barely came up to the guy's torso.

"I'm not drunk." The guy cocked his head, that vibrant hair falling to one side. "_They're _drunk." He pointed to the left of them, not that Roxas needed the guidance. He could hear the screaming and laughing just fine. He looked anyway, watching numerous shadows tumbling and dancing in the distance.

"I'm Axel." The redhead spit out harmlessly, almost cutely.

Roxas hesitated, keeping his eyes locked to the group of friends before finally meeting Axel's gaze that hadn't broken off of him. With a forced smile, he nodded slightly. "I'm Roxas."

Roxas actually gaped at the surprisingly sweet smile he'd received. It matched his appearance none and it was heartwarming; something to actually send chills up his usually numb spine. He was gorgeous.

"I know." The redhead smiled wider, his eyes glimmering in the moonlight. It was perfect, and… _wait, what?_

"You know?"

"Yeah," the redhead fell onto his ass in somehow a graceful manner, his hands fumbling into his hoodie pocket until he withdrew his thin hands, a cigarette placed between his fingers and a lighter in his other hand. "I uh…" His eyes flickered up to meet Roxas's curious gaze before they turned back to his cigarette. "Sit down, will ya? You're making me nervous." He mumbled to his crossed legs.

Roxas did so, setting down on his knees and anxiously facing the redhead. "How do you know me?" _How could someone so gorgeous possibly know someone like me?_

Axel halted, placing the cigarette between his lips. The soft glow of orange and yellow flickering against his face and revealed just how flawless his complexion really was; almost like porcelain. He took a quick drag before flicking his wrist away from his face. Their gaze met while he exhaled; almost like he was _trying_ to tease him.

"You're Demyx's boyfriend." He looked away, past Roxas and at the water.

Roxas's stomach seemed to have turned to stone as his heart deflated. His anxiety had turned to regret at the phrase, wishing he had never even asked. He fumbled off his knees and crossed his legs, now looking down at his lap as all his thoughts rushed back.

"No..." He quietly spit out, glancing up to see Axel still wasn't looking at him. "You should go."

"Why?" Axel brought his cigarette back to his lips before their eyes finally met again.

"Now's not a good time…"

"Why?" He repeated, exhaling the smoke between he and Roxas.

He sighed, rubbing his knees harshly with the heel of his palms nervously. "Demyx and I broke up." He spit out sadly, breaking gazes.

"What?" It was Axel's turn to gape at the blond. "What the fuck happened? When? _Why_?"

He flicked his cigarette past Roxas, giving him his undivided attention. There was no backing out of this.

"Why didn't Demyx just tell you?"

Axel acted as if he considered the question but only shrugged. "He left town in a hurry."

"How close are you two?"

"Best friends since birth."

"Why haven't I met you?" Roxas tilted his head as Axel showed obvious signs of uncomforted at the question. "Why?" He repeated, a bit firmer.

"Probably because…" he sighed, running his nimble fingers through his spikes. "He's my ex."

Roxas's breath hitched, slightly taken aback but expected worse like 'he cheated on you with me'. He sighed a relieved breath at the thought and pressed his palms to his closed eyes.

"So why did he break up with you?" Axel hunched over, closer to Roxas.

Roxas lifted his head, their noses brushing shyly. His face automatically flushed and his eyes widened before he quickly backed up. "How do you know he broke up with me?"

A smirk split across Axel's face. "Demyx doesn't get dumped, that's his golden rule."

"Mh…" Roxas rested his elbow on his knee and his hand on his palm, observing the redhead blankly.

"So what happened?"

"Why should I tell you?"

Axel shrugged, a subtle smile still playing on his soft expression. "Sometimes talking to a stranger helps more than you know. Who am I to judge you? I don't know you."

Roxas sighed at the truth. "Where do I start…"

It was more of a statement than a question but Axel still shrugged anyway.

"Well," Roxas started, his heart swelling as he was anxious to have someone to finally vent to; and Axel looked more than concentrated on just listening. "For a few months… he was distant, and I knew he was falling out of love. I asked him, 'do you love me still?' and instead of a 'yes' or 'no', he'd just yell at me and leave and if we were on the phone he'd hang up on me. He stopped touching me, I had to kiss him first and I was always the one to say I love you first. I was in denial though…"

Roxas trailed off, his eyes wondering towards the sand. Axel lifted the blonde's chin as an urge to continue.

"I almost killed myself trying to find out what was up with him, but I finally accepted it and told myself I was just overreacting – that he _did_ love me." The corner of Roxas's eyes wetted and his throat tightened, his voice coming out a bit of a high pitch. "But then he told me he _didn't_ and it broke me. Not only did he lie to me, but I lied to myself and I told myself _I_ was the bad guy for doubting him…"

He shook his head, running his fingers through his tangled blond hair frantically. "I need out of my head, I'm getting suffocated in my own skin and my heart is… it hurts so bad. He promised to love me forever and I was so _stupid_ for believing someone could ever love _me_!"

Roxas's voice raised before it cut off in a sob. Embarrassed, he buried his face into his hands again and pawed at the falling tears, trying to catch them before they fell.

"Hey, hey –" Axel absent mindedly pulled the blond closer until they were tangled into each other's awkward embrace. He didn't mind, though, as he rubbed the small of Roxas's back, letting him use his shoulder to cry on. "I know what will make you feel better, if you're up for it."

Roxas shuddered as he tried to contain the tremors. "W-what?" He flinched to himself at his familiar quote.

Axel lifted himself carefully and brought Roxas up with him, still pressing their bodies closely. "Something that my best friend and I do anytime that she's upset."

Roxas didn't like the sound of that, but at this point he had nothing to lose… why not whore himself off to some stranger? Content with the thought of some imaginary love story, he nodded, taking Axel's offered hand as the redhead led him through the sand and onto the gravel until they stopped beside a red Porsche – bright red, neon enough to see in the dark.

"Hey! –" Axel called off into the distance, towards the shadows that laid in the sand now. When he got no response he only huffed and opened the door, motioning for Roxas to get in, which he did. Once he shut the car door, Roxas watched as the figure disappeared into the darkness.

He fumbled in the leather seat awkwardly, looking around at the small and tidy car. A small charm hung from the rearview mirror, a circle like metal thing with spikes all around it. Roxas pulled out the chain around his neck that was stuffed into his hoodie. He pulled it off and wrapped it next to the charm, unsure why but he liked the way they looked next to one another. It was his own necklace, a small plus sign kind of charm.

He smiled, still unsure why. A sudden blackness moving in front of the car startled him until he saw the red hair bobbing on top. He readjusted, reading himself until the man poked his head into the driver's side of the car.

"Who're you?"

Roxas's eyes widened. "W-who are…? Me?"

The man nodded dumbly. He looked just like Axel but…

He became even more confused when he saw Axel jogging up next, pulling the man back and out of the car.

'_I was just getting Rude's shades but you left me a treat!' _

Roxas tensed at the sudden comment outside of the car and sunk into the leather, unsure if he should get out or not. A hand reached into the car, reaching between the two seats and pulling out a set of sunglasses. He looked out of the window pointlessly and waited, relieved when the weight in the car adjusted underneath _Axel's_ weight this time. He offered a shy smile before looking to his feet.

"Sorry about that," Axel sighed as he closed his door, the man jogging away from the car and into the darkness. "That's my brother Reno." He added.

"O-oh." Roxas nodded, still feeling tense.

"Sorry." He repeated before starting up the car, his hand raised to level the rear view mirror but stopped as he took in the charm instead. He glanced to Roxas. "Did you put this here?"

Roxas nodded again. "I liked the way they looked next to each other."

Axel chuckled quietly before resuming to adjust the mirror. "What is it?" He asked as he turned in his seat to back out of the parking spot and turning back to accelerate forward. Roxas watched as Axel's hands glided across the steering wheel as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

"I dunno," he admitted. "I saw it one day and bought it. I just liked it." He shrugged. "What about that?" He pointed to the spiral of spikes.

"I'unno either but when I bought it they said it was called a chakram."

"Chakram?" Roxas repeated, tilting his head.

Axel shrugged, eyes on the road. "_No_ idea, I just liked it – like you said."

"Fair enough." Roxas smiled at Axel's grin, surprised when they were already pulling into another lot after such a short drive. "What's this?" _I thought you were going to take me back to your place and use me._

"My work place, wait here."

Before Roxas had time to even nod, Axel was already out of the car and quickly jogging towards the small glass building. It looked like one of those vintage restaurants that old people and hipsters worked at. Thinking of Axel working in a place like this… then again, Roxas didn't even know so much as Axel's last name.

The redhead exited the dark shop within minutes, a small package between his arm and hip as he locked the doors behind him and made it back to the car. He slipped inside, handing Roxas the small box.

"What's this? It's freezing cold."

"About 20 bucks out of my pay is what is it." Axel grinned before pulling out of the lot and driving more down the road. Roxas stayed silent, watching Axel concentrating on the road. He had yet to see the redhead in any kind of light and he was more than eager to uncover everything about his new friend.

"So, Axel…" Roxas croaked out to break the silence.

"Save it, trust me." The redhead barked back, not rudely but it still caught Roxas off guard. "You're going to like this."


	2. Dimples

Axel x Roxas  
Kingdom Hearts ; Rated M ; Yaoi ; Lemons  
I don't own anything.

/

**Sad Eyes**

_You left me to remain with all your excuses for everything._

Roxas agreed to waiting and silenced himself for the rest of the drive. When he glanced out of the window he could see they weren't on the beach anymore, rather they were driving closer into downtown; where the buildings were still classical and made of stone and wood, theaters still used pin-up letters on lit billboards and the only sound to be heard was the Italian music echoing through the empty walls.

"Where are we going?" Roxas dared to ask.

"You're impatient, aren't you?" Axel glanced over and offered a quick smile before returning his eyes to the road.

"Well," the blonde returned the smile with a sense of sarcasm. "When a stranger tells me to get into his car, has his creepy brother call me a treat, makes me carry a strange package and drives me into an isolated part of town; you get a little curious."

The redhead barked a short laugh.

"Fair enough." Dimples. He had dimples – and Roxas had only just noticed, or rather gawked.

"Don't worry," Axel said as the car came to a halt in front of a tall building. "I'm not going to _kill_ you."

_It wouldn't matter if you did_, Roxas thought with a frown.

He shook his head, repressing yet more memories as Axel motioned for him to get out of the car. Once he had, the first thing he saw was how brightly lit the building in front of them looked. It was the clock tower, he knew that; but never had he seen it late at night when the lights were on. And if only Roxas had seen the way Axel had been admiring him; appreciating the way that the lights had reflected in blue eyes and glimmered the tears that still rested in the corners. Maybe he'd have felt worth something.

"Come on," Axel smiled to the blonde before throwing an arm over his shoulder. He squeezed the younger figure to his side and both made their way towards the entrance. It had been locked, which Roxas noted, but with two bobby-pins Axel had assured him nothing was ever really locked.

"You just get creepier and creepier." Roxas whispered as they slid through the now unlocked door. Axel had gone first and held Roxas's hand, helping him over the piles of boxes kept in front of the door at night and catching him when he stumbled; earning an interesting shade of red to spread across his nose.

"And you're a mess." Axel teased before leveling the blonde to his feet and guiding him up the stairs.

Roxas, embarrassed, remained silent and watched the combat boots stomp from one stair to the next as he softly pattered his feet along and held the freezing box to his hip. His still wet sneakers had squeaked with every step and he eventually stopped to completely pull them off, socks and all and toss them into a corner of the stairs. Maybe he'd get them back later, if he didn't forget.

"Isn't that the best part of thinking you'll die?" The eldest asked as they finally reached the top of the stairs. As per, Axel had pulled out his bobby-pins and began working on the final door.

"What do you mean?"

"You just stop caring – it's nice." He replied as he opened the door.

_Did Axel ever want to die?_

That thought brushed away as soon as they stepped onto the roof. Again, Roxas marveled at the sight. All of the buildings were only shadows, while further in the distance had shown the busier side of town still brightly lit. The stars even looked more brightly from up here; even if the sky had darkened into a deep grey. With an aspirated sigh, Axel again wrapped his arm around Roxas's shoulder and guided him to the edge of the tower before helping him sit down, and placing the box between them.

Axel had danged his legs over the side, while Roxas criss-crossed his and faced the redhead; finally taking in the sight of what he really looked like in light. _Gorgeous_ – was the only word that came to his head. His red hair shone against the lights and Roxas wondered if those were his real eyes or just contacts by the way they were so highlighted in the lights. The wind peacefully blew against the redhead and those soft locks that Roxas wanted to run his fingers through danced on Axel's small neck, wrapping around his throat and all in all scattered everywhere. A bit of his hoodie had lifted in the wind, revealing pale flesh and a dark stain of tattoos on his hips. Roxas fought back the urge to rip the redhead's clothes off, and decided it'd be best just to commit the question to memory.

While Axel had pulled a pocket knife out and fumbled the box open, Roxas extended a finger to touch the highest of Axel's cheekbones, earning a strange look and red brows to rise.

"What?"

"You have tattoos," Roxas mumbled and as Axel smiled he moved his finger to match the dentation. "And dimples."

Axel slowly nodded and took Roxas's hand from his face and laced their fingers before using his free hand to pull out a wrapped popsicle and offering it to the wide eyed blonde. Roxas had taken it with his free hand and let Axel assist him in pulling down the wrapper – so long as they kept their hands locked together.

"What flavor is this?" Roxas watched as Axel used his teeth to open his own.

"Sea salt, try it."

Roxas hesitantly wrapped his lips around the edge and sucked softly on the ice before turning and admiring the view a bit more. Absent mindedly his thumb had traced over Axel's calloused digits, slowly and softly; earning all the nerves in Axel's body to come alive.

Just as Axel opened his mouth to speak, an abrupt vibration came from his jean pockets, and with a groan he broke their hands apart to pull his phone out of his pocket. Blue met green in a skeptical manner before Axel cleared his throat and answered the phone, not breaking gazes with Roxas for a minute.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Axel!_"

Roxas could faintly hear the incoming voice booming on the other side. It was enough for him to be the one to break gazes.

"What's up?" Emerald eyes watched Roxas retreat his open hand and turn it into a fist between his legs.

"_I just got here – there are so many hot dudes here!"_

Roxas winced.

"Oh, wow. Cool."

"_What're you doing? Sounds like you're skydiving, what's with all the wind?"_

"I'm at the clock tower," Axel pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes defiantly. "With Roxas."

Blue eyes widened again and locked with said emeralds in a panic before a wry smile met both of their lips and Roxas rolled his eyes, playfully nudging Axel. He mouthed '_no_' but Axel replied with a wink.

"_What? Dude?"_

"Yeah, you didn't tell me he was so cute. Why didn't you ever introduce us?"

The other side had fallen quiet.

"You there?" Axel grinned as Roxas profoundly blushed.

"_Yeah man, sorry. I gotta go."_

"Oh alright, it's cool – I'm busy anyway." Axel rolled his eyes when Roxas's jaw fell, but a smile had played on each corner of his lips.

Once Axel had hung up and stuffed his phone back into his pocket Roxas immediately slapped the ice cream from his hands and ignored the pout bubbling from Axel's throat. He sat his ice cream next to Axel's defeated treat and shoved the redhead to his back before leaping on top of him, straddling both his sides and pinning his wrists beside red hair.

"I can't believe you did that!"

Axel grinned, accepting the fate he could easily escape from as Roxas pressed his cold nose to the crook of Axel's neck and continued to giggle in disbelief.

But the moment ended as quickly as it began. Roxas's breath hitched as he realized just what he'd been doing and he immediately tried to roll off. Axel, however, had none of that. He adjusted his strength into rolling them both over and positioning himself between the teen's legs.

"Where do you think you're going?" Axel pinned Roxas's hands down now.

A spark of fear sizzled in Roxas's heart and his eyes widened. Although, looking again at the silhouette of Axel's reassuring smile and the dotted stars behind him, he soon calmed down and exhaled the breath he had held.

"You're such a jerk." Roxas playfully spit out and Axel only shrugged.

"Well since you're the one who ruined our ice cream," Axel cocked his head towards the melting mash of blue and earned a grin from Roxas. "I guess I should take you home now. Besides, won't your parents be looking for you?"

Roxas snorted. "How young do you think I am?"

"I dunno, 17 maybe?"

A bark of laughter from the blonde. "I'm 20!"

Axel's brows rose. "I don't believe you."

"Pft," Roxas rolled his eyes. "My ID is in my pocket. Grab it."

Axel narrowed his eyes at the blonde, all the while keeping a smirk playing on one corner of his lips. But he did sit up eventually between the blonde's legs still and slid a hand into the right pocket, only to find emptiness. Slowly, and obviously more alluringly, he slid his hand into the left pocket of Roxas's pants. Roxas responded with a quiet whimper at the realization of just how close he was treading.

He sighed a breath of relief when Axel withdrew his hand with his wallet. He flipped it open and found the ID.

"Roxas Strife, huh?" Axel rolled over and laid on his back next to the teen. "Age, 20. Hm. Guess you weren't lying."

"Told you!" Roxas snatched his wallet back.

"Hey wait!" Axel leaned onto his elbow. "You're a Strife… your dad is Cloud?"

Roxas nodded.

"The same Cloud who owns all those casinos?"

Again, Roxas nodded.

"So you're like… rich and snotty I bet."

Roxas scrunched his nose while Axel grinned. "Am not. But you're all punk and stuff… I bet you're a total ass."

Axel fell back onto his back while the two shared a quick laugh. "Yeah, you caught me."

Roxas rolled his eyes before silence fell.

This silence wasn't awkward though, it wasn't piercing. Memories didn't come back. It was just silence, peaceful silence that Roxas found himself dozing off to. The bitter air was blocked by Axel's warmth as he somehow ended up with his head on the redhead's chest, and his leg wrapped around his thin waist. At this point he was far too tired to hear the words Axel was mumbling. The last attempt of him speaking was a quiet groan as Axel wrapped his arms around the blonde.

That's all he remembered.

He slept, and dreamt of green eyes.

* * *

Author notes; Sorry it takes me so long to update! I'll have the next chapter up within the month. School is ending soon though and I've got a lot of work to do. I'm also writing on broken knuckles, so forgive me if it's short.

Also, a few of you asked why this is my last KH fic, and it's just because the AkuRoku fanbase is really dying down. I love to write AkuRoku fanfics (they're my main OTP even) but when my fics get less and less attention I start to feel bummed about it. If the base starts to grow again when KH3 comes out then I'll definably start up again, but until then.

Anyway, have a happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for reading. c:

If you have any questions message me or anonymously ask on my tumblr if you're shy.


End file.
